Unlike many people who may have forgotten all about their exes after
many years, 40-year-old Michael has kept a spreadsheet of all his sexual
encounter since he was 17.
Unlike many people who may have forgotten all about their exes after many years, 40-year-old Michael has kept a spreadsheet of all his sexual encounter since he was 17.
Each entry includes a concise description of the act beside the names.
Speaking to All Woman, he explains: "I
do it to remember what happened, with whom, as an ego boost, as a
comparison of each woman's skills, and in the event that I pick up a
disease, I'll know who it came from and who should get checked."
When
asked about his perception of his behaviour, Michael said he sees it as
'quite normal' and in fact very responsible of him to keep track of his
encounters.
Michael is not the only one keeping a sex list; Jason, 25, says with each name he writes, his pride and ego are lifted.
"When I reached number 50 I had this very huge sense of accomplishment and now I'm focused on getting to the 100th woman," he said.
Jason
also added that the list serves as a reminder of where he's been, where
he should never return, and each experience teaches him different
tricks and trades in the book of love.
Addressing the issue, Dr. Alverston Bailey, family physician and author of Sexplanations: A guide to discussing Sex & Sexuality in the Caribbean, said most Jamaicans,
especially women, are conservative and secretive when it comes to their
sexual lives and the issue of journalising your sex journey as a man is
very uncommon.
"Women are far more likely to keep a diary of those personal events, men rarely ever do that," he said.
He
added that as a matter of fact, a lot of men falsely increase their
actual numbers, and a sex list, which is an accomplishment in their
case, may serve as a form of validation for a man's prowess.
"Oftentimes
men are driven to have more than one sexual partner because to be
admired by many women, many men think it validates their masculinity and
makes them feel special and that they are needed and desired," he said.
However,
according to Dr. Bailey, beyond all that is the possibility of these
men having psychological issues, which include borderline personality
disorder.
"It is often men with low
self-esteem that need to be validated by women. It often suggests an
individual with a borderline personality disorder and in fact may be
hypersexuality, which could be due to upbringing and a desperate attempt
to achieve love."
He added that a lot of these men may not like women, but might be having sex merely as an expression of power.
"It
might be that he is obsessed with the need to control or dominate women
or use them as a sport or game, where the more virgins he deflowers or
the more hearts he breaks, the greater he feels," Dr Bailey said.
"The
individual might also be suffering from sexual addiction. A sexual
addict finds it very difficult to get gratification from any sexual
partner and the person does not really enjoy sex. He or she is trying to
find love and moves from flower to flower, trying to achieve
gratification, and even though he's looking for love he is unable to
give love because of his upbringing and socialisation."
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